Omaha Snakes

Just mention my tumblr, and the fact that I exiss!
Recent Tweets @

Everyone has terrible taste, compared with me.

shitmystudentswrite:

Doing anything outside of the norm was historically considered Ludacris.

ilovecharts:

Hello, do you accept poorly-made pun-based joke charts? #mywheelhouse

 

Yes — a million times, yes — we do.

You can learn how to eat chicken noodle soup, how to eat minestrone soup, how to eat gazpacho soup, or you can learn how to use a spoon, and you can eat all kinds of soups. The same goes for math formulas: you can memorize each and every math formula, or you can learn how to alter one formula to solve all kinds of math problems.
Math professor (via mathprofessorquotes)

kaseylind:

YOUNG PFT.

(via picklesandwine)

That’s a reasonable amount of urine. I guess I was justified in taking a bathroom break.
Me, just now, having positive self-talk

the ratio of the tution+ fees + room + board for a year at my college to my annual salary is about 91/100.

  • me [aloud to myself, in my office this afternoon]: I can say all sorts of things to all sorts of people!
  • me [in a work email just now]: If I'm lucky I'll be dead soon.
My basic feeling is that I don’t believe in a traditional god, per-se, I just believe in a black nothingness and when you die you’re covered with dirt. Full stop. So I’m an agnostic, I guess you could say.
"Alan Thicke" (Paul F. Tompkins) on Comedy Bang Bang (x)

(via unicornery)